We have to surrender issues from past relationships to begin new ones. As we let go of those issues, we allow ourselves to open up to new relationships, new experiences.
We have to surrender any senses of failure from the past. Patterns and issues are our configurations of beliefs and habitual behavior patterns. They are not real. And they have no power of their own. They cannot grant significance or be a source of possibilities. They can evaporate in a different setting in which they have no value or use.
An example would be in Vietnam. Many of our soldiers became addicted to heroin. They did it for the pain, discomfort and the trauma of war. But as soon as they stepped onto US soil, they dropped the addiction. It seemed real when they were in battle, but when they came home, it was an illusion. They were able to let it go immediately without any withdrawal systems.
What you call an issue may be an expression of some value that is true to you. Keep the value and change the expression to fit your needs. Issues, excuses, dramas, alibis and beliefs are all of the same nature and are either illusions to be surrendered – or your BS (belief structure) material to use for your growth.
Having a deep sense of gratitude is the major indicator of completion. Learn from the past. There is no need to have it as a cause and affect that’s attached to your beliefs about your issues that need to be released.
“As you believe, so be it unto you.”
You are the source of possibilities. You are the one who grants significance in your life. Be true and authentic to yourself: fearless and honest to what you are and what you are not.
What I’m writing today was inspired by one of my greatest masters. I refer to him as the lama on the mountain. Our belief structures can either move us forward or keep us stuck in our past. Worry, struggle and blame need to be transformed into aim, contribution and participation.
One of my students wrote me today and said, how do I release any negative energy accumulated from past relationships?
Men have a tendency to get over things much quicker than women. Women are the receptive, feminine, yin part and seem to hold and store things in their heart. And as we know from Chinese medicine, the heart affects the mind. Sometimes, at the end of a relationship, a person will brood over what happened why it didn’t work. This can keep them stuck.
Here are some of my suggestions for letting go:
- Acknowledge what you’ve learned from the relationships and what information is useful. There is good and there is bad, but in essence – it’s all just energy.
- Imagine that you’re cutting the chords just like you would trim the dead leaves from a plant letting them fall away and discard them. They no longer serve a purpose.
- Pour your own self-love back in your heart and imagine that your heart is opening like a flower. You cannot force a flower to bloom. You can only offer it sunlight, nourishment and water.
